I've never been a big believer in turning over a new leaf on New Year's Day. Probably because I never once followed all the way through a goal set then. But here it is, the new year, and against my will, a desire for change has come upon me.
I find myself no longer tolerant of my previous habits, destructive desires, or lack of follow through. Maybe, at the beginning of the year where I will turn 39, I have finally accepted adulthood, and all that means. That my life is my responsibility, that if I don't do the best for myself, my husband, and my children, who will?
And so, though I've made nothing concrete, no STATEMENT OF INTENT followed by a workable plan, I am moving forward with the plan to just DO BETTER. I know what I need to do to be a better person, I've just avoided doing it for years because I DIDN'T WANT TO. (How juvenile is that????)
As to being eternally 39, it's a joke in my family that if you ask my parents how old they are, they will say 39. And have been that age for 25 years, give or take. The realization that I am at that age, that I will turn 39 in a couple of months, and though according to the government and my children I will continue to age, if anybody ever asks me after March 15th how old I am, I will always be 39. And my life, such as it is, needs to stand for more than my inborn selfishness. So I will indulge myself in this one last selfishness...I will not age beyond 39.
Happy New Year to All, and may all your nothingconcretewithnostatementofintent goals see the light of day!
